It’s been 14 Years, 10 Months, and 12 Days since I’ve not had at least one of my children with me all day long. As of today, all my children are in school, out of the home, for a full school day. Yayyyy …I think!
Over the years, our kids have been in either private school or homeschooled, but this seems to be the year of many firsts. It’s the first time any of them have been in public school, our first time having a high schooler, and our baby and only girl began Kindergarten.
Needless to say, this season of “firsts” has also been a season of practicing how to let go. Inevitably, I’ll be releasing them to college, marriage, possibly overseas, etc., so I’ll need all the practice I can get, and those who know me know that I don’t mind being the 40-year-old mother who secretly lives in the same dormitory as her young adult child. LOL!
Seriously, though…it’s been both exciting and a bit scary. As much as I can always use a break from having the kids around me 24/7, I actually feel a little vulnerable now that they’re not with me throughout the day. Not vulnerable in the sense that I feel unprotected, but more like, “Oh, Lawd, what do I do next?” and “Somebody please hold my bag while I find more of my purpose.”
As a mom, I’ve always felt that our children aren’t to be the totality of our lives, so as mine grew older, I began taking “self-care” a little more seriously, especially since “self-care” is now a movement. Ha! I’ve been trying to do a little more for myself, so I was kind of confused as to why I’ve been feeling this level of vulnerability.
The bouts of feeling lost and unfocused today lets me know that I’ve been losing myself (my being) in the process of raising my children more than I thought. Don’t get me wrong, I totally believe in being very present in our kids’ lives, as it is an amazing calling, but I believe there’s a way to NOT lose yourself in the process and take time to “self-care”. Wanna’ know what the Lord shared with me in just these last few hours? Glad you asked.
What I believe the Lord showed me:
I FAILED TO ROLL THE HEAVY PARENTING YOKES ONTO THE SHOULDERS OF GOD, AND INSTEAD CARRIED MUCH OF THEM MYSELF. AND WHEN THEY BECAME TOO MUCH FOR ME, I PLACED THOSE YOKES ONTO MY HUSBAND’S SHOULDERS, AND ANYWHERE ELSE THEY DIDN’T BELONG. OUCH!
Please hear me…
THE ULTIMATE FORM OF SELF-CARE FOR US AS PARENTS IS ROLLING HEAVY BURDENS AND YOKES CONCERNING OUR CHILDREN ONTO THE LORD AS WE ENTER INTO HIS REST!!
As much as I love a good pedicure, back massage, weekend getaway, a half-bushel of Maryland crabs, etc., they don’t minster to my soul the way that resting and trusting in God concerning my household does. On second thought, the crabs come the closest to touching my soul in that way, but y’all get the point. I mean…….
Taking on worry, fears, concerns surrounding your children, or anything else for that matter, is a time-thief. It distracts one from having a full-balanced life of their own, leaving one to feel lost. There is a bright side, though. I see it, am learning to understand it, and now have the grace to adjust.
If you’re in this place, please consider practicing letting go and rolling it onto to Him. If you have “littles”, you have a lot more time to practice this than most of us, so get to rolling those burdens and yokes over!